“Remember that you’re dust ,and to dust you shall return” (Genesis 3:19),the priest had said to me, and to other lay faithfuls who had queued at the foot of the alter to receive ashes on their foreheads. “What a phrase…?”,i had thought,presumably a popular one,yet embodies often neglected truth and significance. The fact that we are sojourners on this planet earth is an indisputable fact which needs more emphasis else we would be distracted by the fleeting pleasures of this very earth and leave our hope of eternal glory at bay.   Man, a three-part-being is made up of a spirit and a soul,both living in a body. But when the body(e.i dust) expires,it returns back to the earth,while the spirit and the soul return to God. Hence a solemn call to utmost humility,repentance,restitution and ultimately salvation is paramount in the life of every Christian.

Just a week ago,precisely,on Wednesday,the 10th of February,2016;the Church (Catholic) all over the world commemorated the Ash Wednesday(neither a feast nor a solemnity)but a day of obligation, which is very significant  in the life of every catholic faithful,because it marks the beginning of lent.




A very symbolic substance – Ash  which is obtained from the burning of the palms used previously during the Solemnity of the Triumphant Entry of Jesus Christ into Jerusalem,also known as Palm Sunday(usually a Sunday before Easter) is used on Ash Wednesday. The issuance of ash takes the place of the penitential rite,as it is deliberately omitted during the Mass for Ash Wednesday .

Ash is applied on the foreheads of the Catholic  faithfuls on Ash Wednesday as a reminder of man’s mortality on earth;the nothingness of man! Our journey on earth is simply temporary,and when that journey ends,the body returns to the dust where it came from. However,other biblical symbolic use of Ash include:

  •  As a sign of grief : Second Samuel 13:19 records an account of a young lady-Tamar who was raped by her brother Amnon ,she put ashes on her head as a sign of deep grief.
  • Sign of Mourning for our sins as recorded in the book of the Prophet Jeremiah 6:26
  • A Sign of Repentance from our crocked and sinful ways of life(Job 42:6).

Lent begins with Ash Wednesday,a forty days journey with Jesus ;which mirrored Jesus’ forty days fasting and prayer in the garden of Gethsemane,in preparation for His ultimate sacrifice-‘death on the cross, for the salvation of mankind‘. A forty days journey before Easter,a journey of fasting,alms-giving,abstinence,prayer(like never before, and certainly not like the hypocrites do ,but as recorded in the Gospel of Mathew 16:17_18). A journey which is also observed in the Ways of the Cross or the Stations of the Cross. A journey,not like the Isrealites’ whose forty days journey turned to forty years journey ,because of their disobedience and stubbornness,but one by His grace,will bring us back to God through repentance,restitution,reconciliation ,reformation and renewal of life.

Repentance is a daily journey ,and lent avails one a very special opportunity to return back to God in humility and sincerity of heart. The predominant message of lent is a ‘Call to return back to God’ as can be seen in Joel 2:12-18.  A call to begin  a new life of grace,purity,sanctity,a new life of holiness and peace with God and human.

It’s been a week since Lent begun,how has your journey with Jesus been? There is a myth about the eagle:when an eagle attains about thirty years of age,its health condition deteriorates,to the point that survival becomes difficult.Its talons lose their flexibility and can not properly grip its prey,its beak becomes blunt and bent,its feathers grow thick and heavy and impairs flexible and balanced flight.  But the eagle doesn’t surrender to weakness or death,rather it retreats to the mountaintop for a period of five months,where it sharpens its beak against a rock,plucks it talons and feathers for a regrowth. All these the eagle does to enable a longer life span and better flight. What are you plucking off in the course of this forty days journey,and what value(s)/moral do you wish to renew? These are crucial questions to ask ourselves in sincerity of hearts as we journey with Christ in this Lenten period,in preparation for Easter.

The Grace to lent sincerely and diligently like never before,and as You would wish us to ,we pray Thee oh Lord,Amen.🙏




Dika is four years older than Chisom,and although they have such age difference,they are  two peas in a pod. Two jolly fellows, often times,they would chat and laugh hysterically that neigbours would wonder if they had won a jackpot. What age difference can put asunder a sisterly gossips and hearty giggle anyways?
They had gone to the market,just down the street on a breezy Saturday morning in their usual happy mood,chatting about “everything”,and often they would grin from ear to ear.

Ipodo market may seems like a mini market,but it holds loads of stuff;ranging from clothing materials,food items,foot wears,items of stationery,you just name it! And as such,people trade it;workers,who had closed from work ,and would want to buy some items,people like Dika and Chisom,who just came from their homes to purchase one thing or the other,and not excluding hunting spirits…So like every other market,it’s always teeming,especially on Saturdays. It was at this same market that Oby’s most cherished phone was mysteriously whisked. “Ejor oh…ejor oh…!”(meaning : ‘please oh’,i.e another way of saying ‘excuse me’ in Yoruba language) a woman’s voice had echoed from behind as she tries to forcefully wade through the crowd of buyers,spirits,and pick-pockets. “Madam ,abeg fly” Dika had muttered in exasperation,” i don’t just know why some people can’t simply exercise a little patience” she said to Chisom,who just smiled calmly in response.

The ladies had walked into a shoe store,and bought two pairs of stilettos before heading to the clothing line to buy some ladies top. “Babe,borrow me a thousand naira,to add up to my money, i really want to get this”Dika said to Chisom as she points to a white crisp shirt on a mannequin. Chisom hummed ,”i don’t think i have more than enough to lend ,i still haven’t got  baby’s diapers for Aunty Neye” she had said calmly . And almost made her way to check out a pant trousers,when she was abruptly stopped by Dika’s thrilling voice,”you made me buy shoes i didn’t budget,and now you’re telling  me you don’t have enough money to lend,it’s not as if wouldn’t pay you back!”. “But i didn’t force you to buy the shoes” Chisom had said as she turned,brought out a thousand naira note ,and handed it to her sister. And just as she made her way for the pant trousers again,her sister retorted, ” Hey come back here,take it,just take it!”. Chisom had turned in awe to see what it was she was being called back to take,”i said ,take your dawn money,i don’t need it anymore! Dika’s voice thrilled in exasperation.

As the girls both briskly walked back home in anger ,saddled with silence of unspoken words,Chisom wondered the evil spirit that had possessed her sister in just a split of a second. This was her sister who she had chatted and giggled with just few minutes ago . Her mood switch baffled her,really,”how can this be?” she muttered. She needed to know!

(An excerpt from my yet to be published Short Stories :))

I bet, you can’t imagine a life where you can’t be able to perceive when you (are) or someone around you is angry. Abuses rising from emotional outbursts are on the increase,they occurs like every second. Hence ability to perceive, comprehend,control and evaluate our emotions as well as that of others  is very essential .

Emotion is a mental state that arises spontaneously rather than consciously,it is accompanied by physiological changes like pleasure(e.g joy,love,etc) and displeasure(sadness,sorrow,fear,anger,etc) . Virtually everything in life has a cause and effect, and so does  emotion. When emotion rises,there’s always an effect,which is usually impulsive. Emotion is a very  vast concept,therefore,for the purpose of this discuss,i would limit it to anger only.



An illustration of the human brain,showing the Amygdalae. Picture by Wikipedia.

Anger,like other emotions is triggered by the two red, almond-shaped part of the brain called the amygdalae(singular:amygdala) or the emotional part of the brain. The amygdala is very impulsive,this is why people tend to react when they are emotional. It also helps in controlling emotions. Now,the big question is: what is emotional intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is a life /social skill that describes how well an individual can recognize and manage their emotions, and react to the emotions of others appropriately.Emotions are often very spontaneous,hence sensitive,so they need to be responded to appropriately ,else irrational reactions will result.

Emotional intelligence involves, but not limited to the following skills:

  • Emotional awareness: Acknowledging ones’ emotions,and that of others is very crucial.It is very true that some people tend to hide their emotions;which is not only harmful to the psychological well-being of such individuals,but also to the persons he or she encounters,because,there could be an outburst of emotions,or transfer of aggression. Concealing emotions is like hiding a lighted stick of candle under ones’ bed,it burns the bedding,and sets the entire house ablaze,it’s that disastrous.So when angry, it’s very important to acknowledge the fact that you’re angry,and work it out logically.
  • Self Management: Controlling our emotions maturely , understanding, and respecting the feelings of others are very essential. Putting our emotions in check when they become disruptive enables a healthy living. If you are stuck in anger,try doing something positive(like :taking a deep breath,counting some numbers like up to ten,walking around,or engaging in an exercise) to break the anger bound,and to avoid acting emotionally,or making emotional-based decision that are regrettable afterwards.
  • Empathy:This helps in dealing or responding specifically to others’ feelings appropriately . Letting their emotions click rightly by keeping quiet,and listening up to understand how they feel,then responding accordingly.  It’s ok,if you don’t totally understand their feelings,but putting aside your views,and (don’t argue with or judge them) acknowledging their feelings will be of an enormous help. Empathizing with others is not disparaging their feelings,but listening,and responding appropriately.They say “a problem shared ,is a problem half solved”✅.
  • Motivation: In challenging emotions like fear,the inner drive to accomplish a set goal becomes your motivation. It compels one from the inside to challenge his or her phobia by not giving up,or shrinking back.

Emotion(anger) is spontaneous ,it surges at any moment ,but it be can handled intelligently by frequent self check,even in a middle of an intense discussion,evaluate  your self,know your limit,and don’t over stretch it. It may sound so unrealistic,but self evaluation is the best evaluation ever. Also,keep quiet when you’re angry, argue not when you’re emotionally tensed. Try and move away from such environment to avoid tales that touch. Knowing yourself well,and listening to your feelings,not  disregarding them,but working them out can save you from so many hurts and  troubles. And respecting the emotions of others helps in building healthy relationships. However, do not sweep sensitive issues under the carpet, get to work it out when calmed, else it will reoccur. Above all,Spiritual intelligence supersedes emotional intelligence,so if you’re experiencing anger issues,also take it to God in prayer,he’ll handle it.

How good is your emotional intelligence? IF you’re often angered,do you mind incorporating  emotional intelligence in your  2016 resolution? It’s better late than never darlings. A hearty Cheers to emotionally intelligent individuals! 🍹Don’t be a stranger,let’s have a chat at the comment section… 😚😚











































































































Journey,My… Journey

Fourteenth of November 2015 it was! A memorable night indeed… I had returned from work a bit later than usual,and as i walked into my lighted family home, with millions of butterflies running an evening marathon in my stomach, “who hasn’t experienced or at least heard about this famous Lagos traffic, eh?” ,i thought. Not withstanding the time,the excruciating sweat that had drenched my  favourite black turtle necked top, i  had paired with my new pair of baby_ blue jeans ,i was just determined to embark on this journey. This very journey that had taken me like forever to decide.

If i had embarked on this journey earlier than now,i would have probably attained my BSL,instead of this TWA. But no! i was so scared ,scared of my look,scared of how challenging it could turn out to be,scared of  people’s scrutinizing eyes…Although my big sister ,Valerie had taken that bold step,and returned looking exquisite and lush,and always has countless compliment as we walk in the streets or go out for occasions,yet i wasn’t convinced. I guess i needed to make the journey inwardly,then outwardly;inside-out per se !

Night preparation was a quick one,and as i squat quietly on our royal blue rug in the sitting room,in that yoga posture that often reminds me so much of my childhood setting, patiently waiting for the magic to happen,i whispered to my scary enthusiastic self,”if not tonight ,when…? ”

Later that same night, as i devotedly watched Abuja Special Holy Ghost Service by the Redeemed Christian Church of God which was aired live on one of the local television stations, i  officially gave my life to Christ! Pastor E.A. Adeboye (Daddy G.O. ,as he is fondly called) had said as he announced the alter call “if you can’t remember the very day you got born again,then you too need to make this alter call tonight ,the day you get born again ,is as memorable as the day you get married.” He had asked,“does anybody forgets the day he/she got married?” I guess that message was aimed at me! So,since i couldn’t remember the exact day i got born again, i had to make the alter call too. Right there, in front of our 46 inches LCD at the sitting room of my family home,after a reflective moment; i knelt down in a solemn mood and officially got born again!🙏

Here and now,i started my natural hair journey,Y…e…’r’…s…!💃👅 My Teeny Weeny AfroMy BC
This hair, whose journey i started the preparation since January 2015, with much enthusiasm .I had my transition for ten months,i actually did a short transition before my big chop(BC), because my relaxed hair tangled like crazy,and combing it was quite challenging. To say my BC  is liberating  is an understatement,i feel so reinvigorated and excited. For the first time in my adulthood,i had my hair cut,ready for a fresh start,this time as a naturalist.

Two days later after my BC(Big Chop)as i walked into the  church compound,i was accosted by hysteric eyes with that look that speaks unspoken words,that look that asks question like,” what had happened to our sister?” Question that suggests unsolicited pity. Some close pals did approach me ,asking so many “wh” questions. And i told them it was a personal decision, a long awaited new beginning. I told them it wasn’t an end ,but a rebirth of healthier hair…All lost isn’t lost after-all

Right now i haven’t gotten a strict hair regimen ,but with time,more internet surf on natural hair blogs,and more importantly YOUR ADVICE,i will stick my fingers on the hair products my hair is compatible with.
Ps be kind enough to encourage/motivate a natural sis lol ,also share your hair regimen . xxx.